Jupiter Ascending

Great trailer. Greater visuals. Stunning to watch. But man, oh man, what a hot mess Jupiter Ascending turns into.  Things just happen that really take away from the movie constantly.  It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a movie go from great to awful in the span of two hours.  Bottom line, turn the sound off and it’s a good one thumb up.  The dialogue really is that bad.  The plot is good, but the sub-plots negate it.  To me, to have all this going, and still fall flat, is purely the director’s fault.

<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/did-you-enjoy-jupiter-ascending/question-4719088/" title="Did you enjoy Jupiter Ascending?">Did you enjoy Jupiter Ascending?</a>

Bottom Line to me, it’s time for the Wachowskis to retire.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

This movie should have been a lot more enjoyable than it was. Samuel L. Jackson was just a little TOO crazy for the role. The accents were hard to understand, just a little too thick. And it relied on way too many cliches.

I got it that it was a parody, but a couple of scenes pushed the ultra-violence too far ( long ).

It just went on and on and on. We got the point real quick. The bonus gore wasn’t fun to watch. It sells itself as a parody, but comes across more as mockery. It just has a mean spirited feel to it.

After giving it a few days to sink in, no thumbs.

Sponge out of Water

Me and the boy went to see The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water.  There’s no point in even trying to review this movie.  It is 100% standard Spongebob fare. Even though he is twelve now,  as we have since he was born, we enjoyed it just fine.  I’m still partial to The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, but this one will probably grow on me with time as well.

Just a clue here, Hollywood:

Other than Guardians of the Galaxy, the last several months have been HORRID viewing for family-friendly fun movies. Movie ticket sales have sucked as well. A good, fun, family-friendly movie comes out and BOOM! It’s #1 with a bullet. I’m not saying EVERY movie has to be kid-friendly. But, as much content as Hollywood cranks out these days, it’s not too much to ask to have a steady stream of good movies a man can enjoy with his kids.

The Cowboys got screwed

OK, so the guy catches the ball, takes two steps, lunges for the endzone, falls inches short, and loses ball. The referee standing right on top of the play immediately signals complete pass, no touchdown. Cowboys on the 1 yard line ready to face the Packers in an epic goal line stand situation?

Nope. It never happened. Some anonymous review analyst over-rode the referee standing right on top of the play and decided it was not a catch. Dallas immediately turns the ball over on the next play. Game over. No dramatic finish.

They screwed this one up royally. That WAS a catch. I’m not a Cowboys fan so no need for all the sour grapes claims. I’m a Randall Cobb ergo Packers fan at this time. The Packers might have stopped them anyway. A field goal wouldn’t have won, the Cowboys would have had to put it in the end zone to win it. But, we’ll never know because some idiot rules wonk determined that counting to three was more important than the obvious.

Video reviews are a good idea. However, when slowing things down to micro-seconds to parse the rules it isn’t realistic. Just replay the play at regular speed twice. If it isn’t obvious that the call on the field was wrong after the second try, move on.

<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/did-the-cowboys-get-screwed/question-4663290/" title="Did the Cowboys get screwed?">Did the Cowboys get screwed?</a>