Jupiter Ascending


Great trailer. Greater visuals. Stunning to watch. But man, oh man, what a hot mess Jupiter Ascending turns into.  Things just happen that really take away from the movie constantly.  It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a movie go from great to awful in the span of two hours.  Bottom line, turn the sound off and it’s a good one thumb up.  The dialogue really is that bad.  The plot is good, but the sub-plots negate it.  To me, to have all this going, and still fall flat, is purely the director’s fault.

<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/did-you-enjoy-jupiter-ascending/question-4719088/" title="Did you enjoy Jupiter Ascending?">Did you enjoy Jupiter Ascending?</a>

Bottom Line to me, it’s time for the Wachowskis to retire.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

This movie should have been a lot more enjoyable than it was. Samuel L. Jackson was just a little TOO crazy for the role. The accents were hard to understand, just a little too thick. And it relied on way too many cliches.

I got it that it was a parody, but a couple of scenes pushed the ultra-violence too far ( long ).


It just went on and on and on. We got the point real quick. The bonus gore wasn’t fun to watch. It sells itself as a parody, but comes across more as mockery. It just has a mean spirited feel to it.

After giving it a few days to sink in, no thumbs.

Sponge out of Water

Me and the boy went to see The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water.  There’s no point in even trying to review this movie.  It is 100% standard Spongebob fare. Even though he is twelve now,  as we have since he was born, we enjoyed it just fine.  I’m still partial to The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, but this one will probably grow on me with time as well.

Just a clue here, Hollywood:

Other than Guardians of the Galaxy, the last several months have been HORRID viewing for family-friendly fun movies. Movie ticket sales have sucked as well. A good, fun, family-friendly movie comes out and BOOM! It’s #1 with a bullet. I’m not saying EVERY movie has to be kid-friendly. But, as much content as Hollywood cranks out these days, it’s not too much to ask to have a steady stream of good movies a man can enjoy with his kids.

Her

Spent the morning watching Her with my wife.

It’s a lot better than I expected.  Sure, it’s a romantic drama, which is Hollywood-speak for chick-flick.  But, it’s very sci-fi in a subtle way.  It borrows a lot from the king of all sci-fi, 2001: A Space Odyssey, in that a computer suddenly develops human-like emotions.  And, in both, is not a terribly good outcome for the human.  There’s a constant lesson in that coming from Hollywood, don’t let digital media be your primary stimulation.  And of course, they pipe that message to you digitally, for a price.  I give Her all thumbs up.  I can’t even really say why.  It’s not exciting, it’s not loud, it’s not pretty, and at times it’s very uncomfortable.  But, it’s one of those movies where I just kept watching like a train-wreck.  It probably hits a lot of people a lot closer to home than it was given credit for.

Charlie Sexton

OK, got a quick synopsis of all things Charlie Sexton in my life. Won’t take much, but still fun. When Beat’s So Lonely came out, I was in college, and partying like a fool. This was my #2 go-to song.

When we partied at Smith-Ballard, that song got played probably twenty times a night. I got complaints, but that was just tough. If I was drinking bourbon, you heard Beat’s So Lonely.

Which led to

In 1986 the rumor came out David Bowie was going to be touring with Stevie Ray Vaughan. That didn’t happen. So, the rumor then became that Charlie Sexton was going to be the lead guitarist for the Glass Spider tour. Now, in those days, you didn’t have the internet, you didn’t have much of anything for news outside of magazines and MTV was still relevant. So, having no real David Bowie pipeline in Appalachian Kentucky in 1986, I had to go with my gut. Being in college and being broke, I was forced to decide between Pink Floyd or David Bowie fronted by my favorite guitar player of the year. I went with Bowie/Sexton. Sexton decided not to tour. So, I wound up with:

David fronting Peter Frampton. Although probably a far superior guitarist, he wasn’t my favorite guitarist of 1986. That kinda put a damper on the show for me. When my date asked when they were going to play “Rebel Yell”, we had to part ways. That was pretty much it for Charlie and me for about 30 years.

So, this weekend my wife decides we need to watch a movie that screams not-me. It goes on and on and on and never really seems to be going anywhere. Eventually stumbling on this scene:

The roomie doesn’t say much. And basically gives the impression of being a burned-out rocker. But, he looks incredibly familiar. I hate that feeling usually. Finally my wife fills me in on the secret. It’s Charlie Sexton. He’s apparently alive and well.

That aspect of my life apparently found satisfactory closure.

Keep Moving Forward

Disney always has some Easter eggs in their movies.  Some are very, very, subtle.  Some, not so much.  This is probably one of the most overt, but probably overlooked ones they ever did:

How many people here can name the original author of that quote?  Don’t feel bad, I had to look it up.  But, on this 19th day of January, 2015, you should know.

Martin Luther King, Jr. – Keep Moving forward

Nowhere could I find a direct connection of King’s influence on this movie.  But, I seriously believe that’s where it came from.   If you think I’m full of it, perhaps your time could be better spent watching Disney’s blockbuster hit in theaters right now.

Michael Moore thinks Chris Kyle was a coward

Confession time, I hate Michael Moore.  Seriously, I detest the guy.  In the last ten years all he’s done is whore for publicity regardless of who he offends doing it.  So, given the success of American Sniper, it should have surprised no one when he tossed this tweet out there:

My uncle killed by sniper in WW2. We were taught snipers were cowards. Will shoot u in the back. Snipers aren't heroes. And invaders r worse

First of all, he doesn’t name his uncle in World War II.  I doubt he had one that was killed by a sniper.  Really, I do.  The guy is truly that classless.  The only guy we do know for sure who got killed and can’t defend himself is the guy Moore is slamming here, Chris Kyle.

<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/united-states/michael-moore-thinks-chris-kyle-was-a-coward/question-4672162/" title="Michael Moore thinks Chris Kyle was a coward">Michael Moore thinks Chris Kyle was a coward</a>

 

January 20, 2015 update: Dean Cain, who knew Chris Kyle, responds to Michael Moore, who obviously didn’t. Seth Rogen decided to jump into the fray as well, calling the movie “Nazi propaganda”. So, Dean responded to him as well.

@Sethrogen Seth...I like your films, but right now, I wanna kick your ass. Chris is an American Hero. Period. Go to war. Then we'll talk.

@MMFlint Disparage #ChrisKyle to my face. We'll see who is a coward. #Disrespect #Coward

I was on the fence whether I was going to watch The Interview or not. Seth made my decision for me. I’ll skip it.